i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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