What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
