Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
