My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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