We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
