I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
