I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
