Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize