I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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