I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize