i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
