If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
you made out with another girl for some wings
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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