I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
