So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize