I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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