I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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