I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
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He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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