got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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