his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Dick very happy bro
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
