We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
