You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
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It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
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We were licking ciroc off the poker table
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
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In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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