it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Randomize
