What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
