Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
