4 words: hood of his car
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
