adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
