You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
