you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
