I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
