we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
