she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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