If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
