i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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