I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
