just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Found the puke drawer
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
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