Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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