Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
