Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
