whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
