I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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