I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize