Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
