That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
