Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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