we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
