Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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