I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
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and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
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I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
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