this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
