Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
