I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
