My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
