Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
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My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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