If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
