I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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