If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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