I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ATM looks so different sober.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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